A Brand Called 'Nursing"

“Pack up and go home.”

A needle, safety pin, thread, small pair of scissors, tape measure; the Kit, as it was called was carefully scrutinized as we, student nurses, lined up in the nursing station before our clinical instructor for physical inspection; not a hair’s strand touching the collar, hence, neatly combed and piled up in a bun, no jewelries of any kind, no colorful hairpins, white uniform clean, starched and neatly ironed, stockings superbly white, shoes white polished or washed. Fingernails trimmed. No nail polish. Absolutely colorless. No giggles. No holding hands. No high heels. Flat shoes.

But wait! Colors! Where were the colors on our faces? “You look paler than your patient. Go and apply make-up and lipstick. Make it light and come back. Or else pack up and go home. The door is still wide open.” That was our clinical instructor with her nursing discipline at her best. That was every day. Every morning. A ritual. Till we all got into this very discipline itself.

As I reminisce this, I look at myself in the mirror. What has become of the girl who was once adorned with the biggest ribbons her mother could ever stitched, those colorful, sparkling earrings dangling cutely, the cute hairpins and hair clips, the ever so colorful head bands? And the long, loosely, flowing hair? Those lovely heeled shoes and sandals?

The face that looked back at me was that of a very plain Jane. Gone were all those lovely things that were once a part of the ensemble which made one feel good at looking good.

Today, that practice remains intact. I continue to collect an assortment of hairclips, ribbons, bits and pieces of jewelry, lipsticks. All those lovely stuff I love. Except that I can’t put them on anymore. I don’t put them on anymore. Nor the heeled shoes.

“You look paler than your patient. Go and apply make-up and lipstick.
Make it light and come back. Or else pack up and go home. The door is still wide open.”

That was the school of thought. The dialogue that was the prayer. An image that was the Discipline embedded in every upcoming nurse. A discipline to carry the name of the nurse proudly.

A brand. The image of the nurse. And that of the profession.

I Reminisced....

ONCE UPON A TIME……
I reminisced my youth, my home, my school, the people who mattered most.... what might have been. Reminiscence to me is almost an everyday activity. Unconsciously, of course .And I allowed myself to float with time. It' s good to be back to those good old days, good old feelings, days which will never come back, people I may never see again...most times as I journey through time.
There were moments in the past that were , yes, regretting if I live the moment....decisions, adventures to live the present. Bold decisions...daring adventures. And pain.
Softball with my teenage peers, nightly Christmas carols, a swim over the weekends, high school graduation, puppy loves, academic excellence...exulting to remember by.
And I ponder. As I got in touch with those circumstances and set of events...as I searched through my bank of memories...i was time traveling within my own mind. Did those events happened to be mere perceptions of time...events born out of memories ...lens clouded by emotions? Vague images...lucid memories.
I regret a few...something I said and done. But I learned to forgive myself ...knowing that I did the best I knew I was capable at that time. Mistakes… they are the best teachers and a commitment to never repeat them again...the realization that it was I who initiated the cause, perhaps, consciously or unconsciously, which led to the effects of those regrets.
I learned. I learned to look for the deeper meaning and the lessons of each one of those regrets and silently honored those who pulled the strings that I may be humbled.
I stand humbled before them.
God does work in mysterious ways. That we don't know the big picture is my belief.
That there is ...a heart ...and a soul
And once upon a time